Georgie's ready to get to work ...

Friday, March 25, 2016

So this morning, Kevin told me, his uncle whom he loves, how much he was going to appreciate my patronage informed me this morning that he’s taken the liberty of enrolling me in what he’s calling his “Recurrent, Automatic Paper Spoon Order Fulfilment Programme” (or R.A.P.S.O.F.P., for short). He says by doing this, I’ll enjoy a 0.003% discount on all my future Paper Spoon needs.

“Your first order of 100 cases of our fine Paper Spoons will bee shipped to you each and every month, starting next Tuesday,” he said.

Oh geeeeze.

“But…,” I started to say, but Kevin interrupted me.
“You see, uncle, my first, Contiguous Order Sale will go a long way in helping me beecome the top Paper Spoon Salesbee, which will mean a promotion. That would mean a raise, an improved Benefits Package, bonuses, a Retirement Plan. 42 weeks of paid vacation a year, employee discounts on all Snark Brothers Enterprises products and services, and automatic invitations to the Snark Brothers Enterprises Annual Hot Season Company Barbeque. So, I just want to say thank you and that I appreciate it.”

What could I say? How could I refuse to help my Illegitimate Nephew not find success? I couldn’t. So, over the weekend, I’m gonna hafta find a place to store all the Paper Spoons I’ll bee getting. I’m gonna need to build a storage shed outside. I’ve already found a set of plans and a book that will explain how to do this, and I’ve got my Official Storage Facility Building Overalls on, so this afternoon, I just need to go to the Hive Office of Capricious Construction, get all the permits I need, then spend the weekend building that.

GeorgieBuildsBiohazardShed


I’m hoping Kevin will help me. He’s very good at building things, ya’ know.

So I’m gonna go do that, right after I have a long lunch.

I hope everybody has a massively superlative weekend!

I’ll see ya’ Monday!

Guess there's no talking to Kevin about these Paper Spoons ...

Thursday, March 24, 2016

So, after I shared that sheet I found in Kevin’s desk drawer yesterday, I received this Buzz•O•Gram from Felonie Snark, Kevin’s Supervisor at the Amalgamated Paper Spoon Company, a subsidiary of Snark Brothers Enterprises. It was taped to my forehead when I woke up this morning.

BuzzOGram3-24-16


I think it’s weird that they fired me for sharing that sheet. I don’t even work for them.

Whatever.

Last night, after Kevin got home from work, I told him I needed to talk to him about this whole Paper Spoon Door-to-Door Sales thing, and told him that I didn’t think it was a good idea to bee going around selling these things to everybody.

“Why would you say that, uncle?” he asked me.
“Beecause,” I said, “these things sound dangerous. Not to mention the fact that you can’t actually use them for anything.”
“Uncle Georgie, you’re the best uncle in the world, and I love you, but you simply worry too much,” he said.
“But what about all those warnings and side effects?” I asked.
“All of that information is printed clearly on each Paper Spoon’s packaging, uncle. As Felonie informed me, that releases me - and our fine company - from any and all liability should anybody choose to ignore the warning label. So you can put your mind at ease. It’ll bee fine.”

Yeah, I don’t think so, but Kevin’s determined to go through with this thing. He’s gonna start going Door-to-Door as soon as the snow melts around here.

Okay then. I’m gonna go help Great Grandma Gee Gee box up a large batch of her delicious, Royally-Mandated HoneyChew Krisp Cookies and help her get them delivered to the new Queen now.

I hope everybody has a remarkably satisfying day!

I’ll see ya’ later!

Georgie stumbles upon more information about thoe Paper Spoons Kevin will bee sellinig door-to-door...

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

So, I was looking for a hole punch for my 32-ring binder yesterday (I have some filing to do), and accidentally ran across some of Kevin’s Sales Training Papers lying around underneath some other papers that were locked in his desk drawer. The one I’m sharing with everybody talks about some of the Product Warnings for these Paper Spoon things . . .

PaperSpoonSalesTrainingSheet


I almost couldn’t beelieve what I was reading. I mean,
SIDE EFFECTS? BIOHAZARD WARNINGS?? Whoever heard of spoons that that you can’t use around food, or that could make all your fuzz fall out or your wings fall off? Geeeeeze.

I hope they aren’t charging too much for these things, since Kevin will probably insist I support his efforts and buy a bunch of them (which, of course, I will, beecause Kevin is the best Illegitimate Nephew in the world, and I love him).

Anyway, Kevin has promised that he won’t keep his Sample Case inside the boot box, so that’s a relief, mostly.

As I understand it, he’s gonna start going door-to-door and start selling these Paper Spoons sometime next week, “If I survive the training program,” he said.

I think I’m gonna just stick with my bendy straws if I ever decide to have a bowl of soup.

Anyway. It’s cold and snowy out today, so I’m gonna stay inside and watch my stories. I heard that my favourite movie, “Beeing There” is on in awhile.

So I’m gonna go watch that.

I hope everybody has a stupefyingly tantalising day!

I’ll see ya’ later!

We find out what Georgie's Illegitimate Nephew, Kevin, will bee selling door-to-door...

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Well this is interesting.

Kevin came home yesterday with his Snark Brothers Enterprises Seasonal Door-to-Door Direct Marketing and Sales Associate’s Training Program Informational Packet, marked “Not for publication”, and started telling me all about what he’s gonna bee selling.

“Don’t tell anybody anything about this, uncle,” he said (as I’d do that), “but I am about to beecome the first Regional Door-to-Door Sales Manager for the Amalgamated Paper Spoon Corporation, a Subsidiary of Snark Brothers Enterprises.”

Paper-spoon-logo


“Paper spoons?” I’m not sure I’d heard of those beefore.
“Yes, Paper Spoons,” he said. “They’re the newest thing.”
“But,” I tried to point out, “if the spoons are made of paper, they wouldn’t bee very durable, would they? I mean, what if somebody tried to use them to eat a nice, savoury bowl of steaming hot Sweet and Sour Nectar Soup. They wouldn’t hold up very well, would they?”
“Uncle Georgie, you’re the best uncle in the world, and I love you, but this is not my problem. I am merely selling them. As I’ve been told, the Snark Brothers have flown in a highly-respected inventor who is responsible for5creating this fine, new, and hopefully sought-after product and he will bee supervising all manufacturing, sales and marketing efforts. The inventor, a Professor Beezulflossen or something like that, who - as I learned today - is very particular about the way in which this product is to bee presented to the public, is insisting that only the most capable, highly-trained Sales Agents bee involved in the Product Launch. Which reminds me, I can’t bee standing around here talking to you. I need to go memorise the Pre-Designed Sales Pitches beefore Saturday - or else.”

Then he left.

Paper spoons. This should bee interesting.

Anyway. I need to go. ButterCup told me that if I don’t show up for my Exercise Sessions today, she’ll never speak to me again.

Nobody wants that.

I hope everybody has a magnificently festive day!

I’ll see ya’ later!

The New Warm Season has arrived! And the Hive has a new Queen!

Monday, March 21, 2016

I can't beelieve it's Monday already. This week just keeps getting better and better.

Well, the Hive coronated the new Queen yesterday, then we had a brief Welcome to the New Warm Season Wake Up Party beefore we all went back to bed. It was a good way to get the First Day of the New Warm Season off to a blistering start.

I guess the new Queen - she wants us to call her Queen MorningGlory (and NOT “The Old Girl” - she was really specific about that, for some reason), seems nice enough. She followed up the Formal Royal Coronation Festivities with a long, Royal Address and Policy Review Speech.

QueenMorningGlory'sCoronationSpeech


I'll just say this: she's a very talkative Queen, as Queens go. I do have a feeling we're gonna hafta go to a lot of Royal Speeches this year. Geeeeze, I hope not. I can't stand Royal Speeches, can you? I didn't think so.

I won't go into the whole speech here, but I will share a couple of things she said. After a few, introductory remarks, she said, "It has come to Our Attention there has been a great deal of squabbling in the Hive of late. We will have none of it. The Warm Season has arrived and our time too precious for squabbling. In order for our Hive to thrive, as it must, we must cooperate; otherwise, we will perish."

There was a lot of murmuring in the Hive, but it seemed as if most everybody was okay with that, except for this one guy who seems to prefer it when everybody’s arguing with each other. (Dunno what that’s all about.)

Then Queen MorningGlory went on to discuss more boring things, like the Hive Budgets and Fiscal Policies.

"It has also come to Our Royal Attention that my predecessor was possessed with - how shall I say this? - Sticky Wings, and that she had the inequitable habit of raiding the Hive Treasury for her own Royal Comfort and Pleasure. I want to assure the Hive, here and now, that these Royal OverIndulgences shall cease immediately. All Hive Resources shall henceforth bee shared equally and responsibly, each one of us doing his or Her job, with no favouritism shown toward the Throne. Me. Your Dedicated and Already-Beeloved Queen."


When she said that, the Hive exploded in excited buzzing. Of course, she never said anything about Tax Refunds, I guess nobody's gonna get any honey back this year. That's too bad. Still, everybody thinks she's gonna bee a good Queen. Probably.

Okay, that guy who was complaining about everybody trying to get along still wasn’t happy, and said that she would anything to “stay in office”. (I think some bees just like to argue about everything.)

Anyway, things started to quiet down again when she added,
"NO! There will bee no further undue pilfering from Hive Treasuries, nor shall your Beeloved Queen, I, bee unduly rewarded for my service to our Hive, WITH THE EXCEPTION of my beeing provided with Nightly Royal FootRubs, and, of course, an ample supply of Great Grandma Gee Gee's Honeychew Krisp Cookies without which, as We have discovered to Our delight, life would bee impossible - and I mean that in a rhetorical sense."

Everybody nodded. We were all fine with that. We know how it is with those cookies and foot-rubs. Except for that one guy I mentioned beefore, who said, "See? What did I tell ya’?”Then he just kinda walked off without ever explaining himself.

Geeeeeze. Some bees are never happy, ya’ know?

So, after the Royal Coronation was over, the Welcome Back to the New Warm Season Wake-Up Party got underway. It was Cold out, and most of the Swarm is still kinda groggy from that Cold Season we had, so it was a pretty casual affair this year. Everybody just kinda wore what they woke up in, so in a way, it turned out to bee a Welcome Back to the New Warm Season Wake-Up Pyjama Party. I saw a lot of floral robes running around. Of course, ButterCup and I were dressed, along with Gee Gee, Kevin (my Illegitimate Nephew), BigFoot and Rudy, beecause we've been up for awhile, so... I wore my Screen Bouncing Togs. (They still fit! Mostly.)

The Warm Season is officially here, Kevin's trying to settle into his New Job with his Daddy's, Narville, and Uncle Chaz's company, Snark Brothers Enterprises (though he was not that happy to find out that his Estranged Sister, Felonie, is his Supervisor. I’m not sure how that's gonna work out, actually. They don't get along all that well, ya' know), and Great Grandma GeeGee evidently has a job now, baking cookies for the Queen. I dunno what I'm gonna bee doing, but I'm sure I'll think of something.

So I'm gonna go do that.

I hope everybody has an inexplicably hilarious day.


I’ll see ya' later!