This has to bee the weirdest Contract ever written...
27/05/15 10:16
Well, this is interesting. After word got out about to everybody in the Hive about my winning a life-time's supply of honey, just about everybody came over to my boot box to "just say 'hi'", but then they'd all say, "and while I'm here, I just wanted to ask if you have some honey you could spare."
Geeeeeeeeeeze.
Anyway, I've gotten so many requests for spare honey that I had to ask Bert to start making a list. I'll bee going over that later today sometime and I suppose I'll bee able to help pretty much everybody, at least a little bit. Probably.
In the meantime, S.O.Bee, the Hive Lawyer, and I presented our offer to Trip Snyder, my Mandatory Publicist.
"50 pounds of honey a month for not doing my best to make sure the whole world knows and loves you?" he asked.
"That's right," I told him. "As my Publicist, you'd agree to never mention my name in public. If anybody wants an interview, you'd make sure it never happens. If groups wanted me to come speak to them, you'd do everything in your power to convince them that I either don't exist or that I'm in such bad health that I simply couldn't appear in public."
"Intriguing," Trip said. "And you'd pay me 50 pounds of honey a month to make sure you never got any publicity?"
"Exactly," I said.
"I also see here that the Contract stipulates that you, Georgie Bee, the Party of the First Part, agrees to mention my name or acknowledge my existence, the Party of the Second Part, as little as possible. Is that right?"
"Yes. We all think it's better that way," I told him.
Trip didn't' say anything for quite awhile, then knocked a pencil out of my wing I was trying to use and started jotting down some figures on a piece of wax paper. Then he finally said, "Make it 80 pounds of honey a month - PLUS my Expenses - and you've got yourself a deal."
So we have a deal. Trip has promised to help make it as difficult as possible for me to get any public attention from now on. If anybody tries to call me, he'll bee responsible for answering the phone and reciting a script that's included in his contract. (He'll say, "I'm sorry. my Client is incapable of talking at the moment, and I doubt that will change." And so on.) And in return for his non-services, I have agreed to not mention his name as much as possible.
I hafta say that I'm glad he signed the Contract, beecause just this morning, somebody called and asked if I would bee able to participate in a "Walk To Promote Hivelessness" which is beeing sponsored by some big company that's run by Humans. (I'm pretty sure they're the same company that manufacturers a line of patented "Mega-Grow Vegetable Seeds", if I'm not mistaken.) I heard him answer the phone and, as per our Contract, he said, "I'm sorry, my Client is unable to walk, probably. Have a nice day."
I guess I feel pretty lucky having a Publicist who won't do his job. From what I've heard, it's really difficult finding somebody like that. It really helps free me up to focus my attention on other things and not hafta worry about having to do a bunch of travelling for Promotional Speaking Tours, ya' know.
Of course - and this is definitely a downside to this whole deal - Trip insists that, in order to fulfil his Contractual Obligations, he will insist on staying close by my side, day and night, for as long as the honey lasts (which, as we all know, will bee for the rest of my life). He has also told me that, as my Non-Publicist, he plans to do everything he can to stand in the way of my doing anything that would help my career. He's even already started not doing his job by making sure that my Editor at the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record and Online News didn't run a feature article in today's edition about me winning all that honey.
"I made sure you don't get any publicity about this," he told me. Then he "accidentally" stuck out his foot and tripped me as I was walking away.
"Just doing my job. And you're welcome," he said.
Personally, I don't think he has to go THAT far with this, but apparently, now that he's signed what S.O.Bee calls the "Irrevocable Contract", I don't have much choice in the matter. Trip will bee my constant companion from now on ("to make sure you accomplish as little as possible so you don't bring anymore attention to yourself than you already have," he said. "I want to make things as difficult as possible for you," he said. "It's the least I can do considering all the honey you'll bee giving me every month," he said.)
Oh geeeeeeze.
By the way ... Bert just informed me that he's just gotten a job offer to work at some new Rapid-Serve O'Pollen's Pie Shop in Phoenix, so I'm not sure if he's gonna take that job or if he'll bee sticking around here. He said he'd let me know what kind of salary and benefits they're offering, then he'd decide. So that's interesting.
Okay then. I planned to share more with you today, but Trip just managed to spill a whole acorn cap full of my Morning Nectar all over me as I've been writing this, so I hafta stop now go get cleaned up.
I hope everybody has an astoundingly gleeful day!
I'll see ya' later!
Geeeeeeeeeeze.
Anyway, I've gotten so many requests for spare honey that I had to ask Bert to start making a list. I'll bee going over that later today sometime and I suppose I'll bee able to help pretty much everybody, at least a little bit. Probably.
In the meantime, S.O.Bee, the Hive Lawyer, and I presented our offer to Trip Snyder, my Mandatory Publicist.
"50 pounds of honey a month for not doing my best to make sure the whole world knows and loves you?" he asked.
"That's right," I told him. "As my Publicist, you'd agree to never mention my name in public. If anybody wants an interview, you'd make sure it never happens. If groups wanted me to come speak to them, you'd do everything in your power to convince them that I either don't exist or that I'm in such bad health that I simply couldn't appear in public."
"Intriguing," Trip said. "And you'd pay me 50 pounds of honey a month to make sure you never got any publicity?"
"Exactly," I said.
"I also see here that the Contract stipulates that you, Georgie Bee, the Party of the First Part, agrees to mention my name or acknowledge my existence, the Party of the Second Part, as little as possible. Is that right?"
"Yes. We all think it's better that way," I told him.
Trip didn't' say anything for quite awhile, then knocked a pencil out of my wing I was trying to use and started jotting down some figures on a piece of wax paper. Then he finally said, "Make it 80 pounds of honey a month - PLUS my Expenses - and you've got yourself a deal."
So we have a deal. Trip has promised to help make it as difficult as possible for me to get any public attention from now on. If anybody tries to call me, he'll bee responsible for answering the phone and reciting a script that's included in his contract. (He'll say, "I'm sorry. my Client is incapable of talking at the moment, and I doubt that will change." And so on.) And in return for his non-services, I have agreed to not mention his name as much as possible.
I hafta say that I'm glad he signed the Contract, beecause just this morning, somebody called and asked if I would bee able to participate in a "Walk To Promote Hivelessness" which is beeing sponsored by some big company that's run by Humans. (I'm pretty sure they're the same company that manufacturers a line of patented "Mega-Grow Vegetable Seeds", if I'm not mistaken.) I heard him answer the phone and, as per our Contract, he said, "I'm sorry, my Client is unable to walk, probably. Have a nice day."
I guess I feel pretty lucky having a Publicist who won't do his job. From what I've heard, it's really difficult finding somebody like that. It really helps free me up to focus my attention on other things and not hafta worry about having to do a bunch of travelling for Promotional Speaking Tours, ya' know.
Of course - and this is definitely a downside to this whole deal - Trip insists that, in order to fulfil his Contractual Obligations, he will insist on staying close by my side, day and night, for as long as the honey lasts (which, as we all know, will bee for the rest of my life). He has also told me that, as my Non-Publicist, he plans to do everything he can to stand in the way of my doing anything that would help my career. He's even already started not doing his job by making sure that my Editor at the Bee Times Gazette Journal Record and Online News didn't run a feature article in today's edition about me winning all that honey.
"I made sure you don't get any publicity about this," he told me. Then he "accidentally" stuck out his foot and tripped me as I was walking away.
"Just doing my job. And you're welcome," he said.
Personally, I don't think he has to go THAT far with this, but apparently, now that he's signed what S.O.Bee calls the "Irrevocable Contract", I don't have much choice in the matter. Trip will bee my constant companion from now on ("to make sure you accomplish as little as possible so you don't bring anymore attention to yourself than you already have," he said. "I want to make things as difficult as possible for you," he said. "It's the least I can do considering all the honey you'll bee giving me every month," he said.)
Oh geeeeeeze.
By the way ... Bert just informed me that he's just gotten a job offer to work at some new Rapid-Serve O'Pollen's Pie Shop in Phoenix, so I'm not sure if he's gonna take that job or if he'll bee sticking around here. He said he'd let me know what kind of salary and benefits they're offering, then he'd decide. So that's interesting.
Okay then. I planned to share more with you today, but Trip just managed to spill a whole acorn cap full of my Morning Nectar all over me as I've been writing this, so I hafta stop now go get cleaned up.
I hope everybody has an astoundingly gleeful day!
I'll see ya' later!