The intrigue intensifies . . .

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Ya’ know, I just hafta say, I don’t appreciate beeing lied to.

First, I just found out that the “have a nice day” saying (in French) that I used beefore I left yesterday didn’t say at all what I thought it was supposed to.

This is turning out to bee highly embarrassing.

Ya’ see, I’d asked some bee I ran into coming out of the Disco downstairs if he could help me learn French. He said, “Oui,” so, I figured he’d help me out. I have a lesson with him twice a day for the low, low price of one livre of honey for every phrase. (So far, he’s taught me seven.)

So I asked him what a good way to say “have a nice day” was to somebody in Paris, and he told me, “Joost say, ‘boîte détrempée de délicieux fauteuils’.”

So I did that.

Today, I come to find out that when I said that I hoped everybody would have a “boîte détrempée de délicieux fauteuils day”, I was telling everybody to have a “soggy box of delicious armchairs day”.

Geeeeeeze. Saying that makes no sense at all, it’s not what I meant to say . . . and it’s not as funny as that bee I paid to give me French lessons (Jean Luc) evidently thinks it is. Probably.

So he LIED to me. Not nice.

THEN, I’m told by Fleur de Bee - and, strangely enough, that bee that brings us our Room Service - that we shouldn’t trust that Buzz•O•Gram™ we got yesterday. As Fleur put it, “Zomezing doeznot zmell right wit zis… .”

I guess I should beelieve her. She’s never lied to me beefore, probably. But whoever sent that Buzz•O•Gram™ seems to bee lying, probably, so I dunno what to beelieve anymore.

I asked Fleur if it was even legal for somebody to use the always-reliable, but now perhaps questionable unquestionability of the services offered by Buzz•O•Gram™ (Open and available 24-hours a day, Every Day of the Week. Reasonably-priced, Prompt and Dependable Communications from You to Anywhere in the Known Universe. Promotional consideration for this message has been paid by Buzz•O•Gram™) and to lie to somebody like that?

“Oui! Of course!” she told me. “Ze Royal Courts, zey ruled zat lying by zee Booz•Le•Gram™…”
“You mean ‘Buzz•O•Gram™,” I corrected her.
“Oui, zee Booz-Le-Gram™, it would bee legal.”

That didn’t sound right to me, and I told her so. She just kinda shrugged and said, “Zat’s zee way it izz.”

So I dunno what to say. I guess we’re gonna stay in Paris for awhile, which is fine with ButterCup. She told me she had already made an appointment to have her antennae done at some very exclusive salon and, of course, there’s just no getting out of that.

In the meantime, I’m just glad I was able to find a part-time-work-from-the-comfort-of-your-motel-room-over-that-disco Buzziness Opportunity making online Product Placement deals through the Totalement Tordu et Sans Vergogne Metro Marketing Group of Paris. (It’s already paying off.) So that’s a good thing.

Anyway, it’s late again and I hope, as my French tutor, Jean Luc, informs me is a traditional, Parisian phrase to use when saying goodnight: I hope everybody has “suffisamment de savon pour faire le tour”!

I’ll see ya’ later!

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