He looked at me standing there and said, “Yous and me needs ta have a little talk, Bee.”

“A talk?” I asked.

“Dat’s right, Bee, a talk,” he said. “But I’s’ll bee doing all da talking, and yous gonna listen.”

Then he said, “Bee, it has been brought to ours attentions dat yous been sayin’ some not-nice tings about our line o’ doze Paper Spoons.”
“I have?” I asked.
“So I hoid,” he said. “A little boid told me and my brudder here dat … how did yous put it? Oh yeah: dat yous didn’t liked havin doze Toxic Paper Spoons around’. “
“I said that?” I said. I started feeling like it wasn’t really fair that Narville Snark was expecting me to remember everything I’ve ever said, ya’ know what I mean?

“Dat’s what yous said,” he said. “So we has ourselves a bit of a problem, Bee.”

“A problem?”

“A problem, Bee. It appears yous didn’t reads da’ Fine Print in da’ contract yous signed when yous bought doze fine Paper Spoons wes solds yous.”

“Fine Print?” I asked. (I didn’t remember any Fine Print.)

“Da Fine Print, Bee.” Then he pulled out a copy of the 587-page Purchase Contract I signed and a magnifying glass, and turned to Page 542.

“It says, right here,” he said, “on Page 542, under da Mutal Agreements Clause, Section 18, Part 61, Paragraph 397, Sub-Paragraph 7, Line 52, and I quotes, ‘Da Purchaser - dat’s yous - hereby agrees dat he or she will, at no time, make negative-like remarks concoining da Amalgamated Paper Spoon Company’s fine products, or else.”

Then he slammed the Purchase Agreement down on his desk and glared at me.

“Yous does knows, doesn’t yous, dat when yous made doze negative-like comments about doze Paper Spoons, yous violated dat Clause of da Agreement? And yous does knows, doesn’t yous, what ‘Or Else’ means, Bee?”

I hafta to admit that I was starting to feel uncomfortable.

“Or else, we could just forget the whole thing, let bygones bee bygones, and pretend I never said anything?” I asked.
I was trying to bee reasonable.

“Dat’s not how dis woiks, Bee,” he said. “We’s demanding…what is dat called again, Chaz?” he said to his brother, Chaz, who was standing beehind me.

“Restitution,” Chaz said.

“Dat’s right. Restitutions. We’s demands Restitutions for yous unkind and uncalled-for remarks.”

“Restitution?” I asked. I started to worry that maybee they were going to sting me or something.

“Dat’s right,” Narville said. “We’s ain’t gonna sting yas, Bee. No, yous punishment is dat yous is about to beecome da Face of da Amalgamated Paper Spoon Company, Bee. Yous is gonna bee starring in a series of TV Commoilcials. And in doze Commoicials, yous is gonna bee tellin da woild how much yous loves doze Paper Spoons you has.”

I could barely beelieve what he was saying to me. Me? Georgie A/ Bee, was to bee the Face of the Amalgamated Paper Spoon Company? Starring in a bunch of TV commercials???? I’ve always wanted to bee on TV.

“Fine,” I said, then Narville Snark made me sign a whole bunch of papers while Chaz stood really close beehind me.
Then Narville said, “Now gets outta here.”

So I did that.

I’m so excited! I’m about to beecome a TV star!

Okay then. I hafta go pick up my script, then bee in Wardrobe and MakeUp in an hour, so I’d better go.
I don’t want to keep my TV Career waiting!

I hope everybody has a monumentally fascinating weekend!

I’ll see ya’ on Monday!